The First Call

When you are finally certified, you wait for the phone call. You are always told from the beginning that you can say no to any child at any time. You do not have to feel obligated to take every child they called you about. We received our first call in August of 2004. It was a baby boy who was 10 days old. He was in another foster home and the foster mother that had him couldn’t keep him anymore. We agreed to take him. He was a tiny, beautiful Hispanic child named Robert. His mother left him at the hospital and at the time, the father couldn’t pass a drug screen. I was at work when they called me about him. I told them I would call John, make sure he agreed and I would call them back. I called my mom and she came home from work to go with me to get him. The first time I saw him, he was still in his car seat. I remember thinking how tiny he was. I was scared to death I would hurt him. The case worker finally told me that it was OK to get him out of his car seat and hold him. I did and instantly I was in love. He was so sweet. We were told that we would have him for at least 6 months because of the dad’s drug screen. Let me give you a little background of our lives at this point. John’s mom had a massive heart attack in June of 2004. She literally died – John gave her CPR and she was life flighted to North East Georgia where they put in 2 stints. When the doctor came out to talk to the family, he was unsure of what kind of brain damage she would have due to the length of time that she went without oxygen. She was showing some signs of brain damage but until she became fully awake, it was unknown. She spent 12 days in the hospital, mostly in ICU. But she was OK. She was very weak and her life would change tremendously but she was OK. The only “brain damage” she had was short term memory loss. She would be saying something and then she would forget. She also lost a certain period of memory. She can’t remember anything approximately 2 months prior to the heart attack. In order for her to be closer to doctors, John’s parents moved in with us. They moved in with us the end of June. Everyone knew that we had made the commitment to foster parenting and we all agreed that we would deal with it as the time came. Talk about a stressful situation. We had so many ups and downs during the month of June. And we were awaiting our first call. So – back to the story.
We had John’s parents living with us and we were taking care of a newborn baby. I took off 1 week from work, my mom was going to take off 1 week, my cousin was going to take off 1 week, and my aunt was going to take off 1 week to keep Robert. He was too young to go to daycare at that point. The church gave us a baby shower for Robert and also gave him his first Bible. Everyone fell in love with him. His biological father was supposed to have a visit with him one afternoon. We took him to DFCS and waited for 15 minutes. He never showed up. We were called 10 days later and told that the drug screen on dad was a false reading and Robert would be released to him that day. We were devastated. This was our worst fear. It was like a funeral at our house. We had to decide what we wanted him to take home with him, how many outfits, bottles, pacifiers, stuffed animals, etc. People had been so generous but yet so understanding. We sat and cried all day before having to take him back. We met Robert’s biological dad at DFCS. We gave him all the information, signed the appropriate paper work, and said our goodbyes. John gave him the Bible and told him that he had highlighted some verses in it for Robert. Even though our hearts were broken, we felt OK with the situation. We got back home and within a few minutes our phone rung. It was the actual director of DFCS. Robert’s biological Dad had been pulled over by the police and his license showed that he was wanted in Texas. Would we take Robert back if he had to be taken back into DFCS custody? We waited and waited for another phone call. Finally the caseworker called back around 9:00 and said that it had all been a mistake. Robert’s biological father was cleared. We still wonder to this day about Robert; where he is now, what he looks like, has or will he ever be told that we took care of him for 10 days of his very young life, etc. In order to survive foster parenting, you have to let it go. You have to believe in your heart of hearts that you have done the very best for the child while they are in your home. You give them love and then let them go.